My Movie

bd, title cardI’m Making a Movie & Documentary.

Recently, I raised a few hundred dollars on Kickstarter & a few bucks on Indiegogo. The primary reason I’ve moved the Fundraiser here is that I want to offer 20% of the net profits to any 1 Person or Company that wants to invest the full $20,000 I’m seeking, which is not something those sites allow. I will also be offering unique, one-of-a-kind “Rewards” for all contributions of $20 or more, as well.

I’m taking $25,000 of my own money & producing/directing a film that has a tight script filled with creative deaths, boobs, a decent B-plot, great dialogue & fun locations. I will be targeting the Direct-to-DVD & VOD markets, exploring licensing, foreign market & other revenue-generating opportunities, and utilizing existing contacts at Netflix, Amazon, iTunes, Ingram, etc., to bring it to the masses.

Blood Drive is a “B” Movie, with an “A” script; it’s Deliverance meets Wrong Turn by way of Hatchet. In addition to paying homage to flicks like Friday the 13th, it’s a fast-paced, gory, boob-filled ride with plenty of twists and turns that will appeal to fans of horror, T&A, slasher & supernatural films.

But I’m NOT Making JUST a Movie,I’m also Filming an Accompanying DOCUMENTARY THAT COVERS EVERYTHING ABOUT HOW THE MOVIE WAS MADE.

EVERYTHING.

EVEN THE BORING SHIT.

ESPECIALLY THE BORING SHIT.

Allow Me to Explain:
In addition to making a fun movie, I want to show aspiring filmmakers, students, movie lovers (and anyone interested) HOW it’s all done…or at least, how I’m going to do it. Instead of a 30-Minute, Behind-the-Scenes Featurette, I’m going to fill up and extra disc (or 2) showing you how a movie gets made on a small budget, from Day 1 to Distribution by hiring a full-time Documentary Crew to film it all, which is what the extra money I’m seeking will be used for.

  • Auditions
  • Insurance
  • Marketing
  • Distribution
  • Set Design
  • Recruitment
  • Obtaining Permits
  • Lenses & Lighting
  • Scouting Locations
  • Duplication Services
  • Purchasing Equipment
  • Utilizing Local Sources
  • Contracts & Negotiations
  • THE LIST GOES ON

I’m hoping this Project (once complete) becomes the “Go To Guide” for anyone itching to Make a Film. And if you don’t care about any of that, you’re still Funding a Great Movie!

If you’ve ever wanted to Know the How, Why or What of Filmmaking (or want to educate others on the subject), this is the Project that will answer a lot of questions, like:

  • Why Do Some Movies Seemed Bathed in (Insert Color)?
  • How Much Abuse will Cast & Crew Take Before Staging a Revolution?
  • Should You Provide Catering?
  • Why is this scene filmed in an empty hangar?
  • What type/size lens & lighting should be used for (insert fictitious scene)?
  • How Many Boobs in One Scene are too Many?
  • What do I need to know if I am selling specific movie rights?
  • Who the Fuck Thought that Guy Could Act?
  • Are there SAG guidelines I need to follow?
  • Does that chick have a penis?
  • THE LIST GOES ON.

On a side note, I think I hear shouting from the peanut gallery:
ROBERT RODRIGUEZ ALREADY MADE A SHORT DOCUMENTARY ABOUT HOW TO MAKE A MOVIE FOR $7,000 AND LOTS OF HOW-TO’S AREN’T COVERED BECAUSE THEY’RE BORING.
I DON’T WANNA WATCH YOU PICK PAINT COLORS AT THE STORE OR ARGUE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND ABOUT HOW LITTLE TIME YOU’RE SPENDING WITH HER AS A RESULT OF MAKING YOUR STUPID MOVIE!

To that I say:
Hey, man…why all the hostility? Also, you don’t need caps to make your point, imaginary asshole person.
Yes, I realize that 10-Minute Documentary came out back in 1998, but I want to create a visual representation (a manual) for how to make a movie that – again – covers everything in an informative, fun way and then: SHOW YOU THAT MOVIE!

At this point, you might be thinking/saying:
“That sounds pretty cool” (or “How fucking lame” if you’re into crushing people’s dreams).

What kind of experience do you have?
All kinds, I can touch my nose with my tongue. Oh, you mean about movie-making, writing, editing, etc?
Man, you ask a bunch of questions.

Here goes: Originally, I had a partner who grew up in the film industry (his mother was an actress, father a Documentarian/Indy filmmaker) who spent a lot of time on sets and behind the scenes. He really knows what it takes to create a movie. Man, I wish he was still involved with this Project. (The breakdown of our business relationship/friendship was filled with angry pantomiming, extreme amounts of exaggeration & will be covered in the documentary.)

I’ve written, produced & co-directed 3 short films that will (hopefully) never see the light of day; my 1st Book (Nostalgic For Death) came out in January of 2013; my writing’s appeared in newspapers, magazines, short story collections, online, etc.; and many years ago I had a screenplay “optioned” (which obviously didn’t work out for me).

ALSO: In case this helps score some of those sweet, deformed, sympathy bucks: I’m crippled.

I have arthrogryposis multiplex congenita and – for when you Google it – I’m in much better condition than most who have it. Seriously, I can walk, fuck your girlfriend, hold a video camera, eat with a spork, the whole shebang.

NOTE: If you’re reading this – and YOU are crippled (and not just by some psych 101 fear or addiction) and you dislike my use of that word – and are OK with the fact that I’ll put our correspondence on one of the Special Features Discs, please contact Me at: RamboHomerMcFly@yahoo.com

In the Subject Line, Please Put: “I Read About Your Blood Drive Movie & Documentary Project on Your Movie Page and I’m Easily-Offended and Have No Sense of Humor and My Life is Sufficiently-Empty that I Like to Argue with People I Don’t Know and I’m a Cripple. Cripple, Cripple, Cripple. Seriously, I’m a Big-Time Cripple. I’m the The Cripplediest Cripple Who Ever Crippled (?) and I Make Poopy in My Pants and Sometimes b4t,3463,2#)mmdb Bash My Head Against the Keyboard and Forget What Words Mean, Jello 4 Purple.”

I’ll respond to your email, I promise. (If you’re not disabled, you really don’t have an opinion that matters.)

Back to the Plan:
Pre, post, production & editing of the Film & Documentary will take approximately 9 months.
If you’re thinking that seems like a long time, get off my scolios’d back.
Everything takes longer when you’re crippled, man.

Other FAQ’s:
How are you going to Market & Distribute the Movie?
Marketing: This Nigerian prince I’m helping out of a jam says he’ll talk to his Pops and force his whole country to buy the flick. It’s gonna be sweet, dude. I’ll probably join some “Cripples Only” Club and promote it through their newsletter, too.
Distribution: Smoke signals and visually-appealing chain letters.
Much of this will be covered in the How-to Doc, but through social media, traditional media, cultivating relationships with fanbases of such films, my relationships with companies I mentioned above (and some I didn’t) and through the Existing Popularity of some of the potential Cast Members I’m negotiating with to appear in the flick.

That all sounds great…WTF is the Movie about?
Synopsis: 3 attractive female friends vacation together for one last weekend before their lives force them onto different paths. Unfortunately, one of them may share a past with a local psychopath. Meanwhile – not too far away – a man on a mission meets up with characters straight out of his worst hillbilly nightmares.

NOTE: I know I’m not re-inventing the wheel here; I’m not trying to. The wheel works just fine as it is. I drove around in a car setting on top of 4 of them just this morning and it sure beat walking. Well, I wasn’t driving; I was sitting in the passenger seat balancing myself with my cripple stick, but you get the idea.This movie will be a fun, enjoyable guilty-pleasure, inspiring fond memories of spankin’ it to Skinemax After Dark.

What kind of Equipment Are You Using?
Camera One (Full HDSLR Mobile Solution): Nikon D600 Digital Camera (24-85mm Lens)

  • Capable of Broadcast-Quality Video
  • Captured to Twin SD cards
  • Full 35mm Sensor – Maximum ISO (in other words, High-Quality Action at night)

Rode VideoMic Pro Compact Shotgun

  • Broadcast Quality Audio Microphone for all Outdoor & Fluid Situations

Tascam DR-40 4-Track, Handheld Digital Recorder

  • Field-Ready, premium Digital Recorder for Clean Audio Feed
  • Used with Sescom Audio Adapter
  • Rod & Shoulder Supports to “Run-and-Gun”.

Camera Two (Interview/Documentary Cam): Nikon D5200 Digital SLR (18-55mm Lens)

  • High-Quality Video for Candid Situations

Shure MX185 Cardioid Wired Lavalier Microphone

  • Used for Interviews, fits to clothing
  • Wired rather than wireless for maximum audio quality

Mobile Editing Station: Asus G75VW-DH72, 17.3″ & Sony Vegas Pro 11 Editing Software.

  • Dual Hard Drives: 750 GB 7200RPM, bulk storage of raw video 256 GB SSD.
  • 16 GB Ram, Intel Core i7, 2.40GHZ

Where is the Movie Being Filmed?
All locations in the screenplay are based on real locales in & around Lead Hill, Arkansas and Branson, MO. (Though locations have already been scouted, trips back to them and a discussion of why they were chosen will be included in the documentary.)

Final Message to Contributors:
I’m hardworking, passionate, talented and have a know-how I want to share (and it’ll be really funny to see the breakdown of all that confidence when I hit my 1st speed bump along the way).

I’ll be adding details about what your donation gets you because I still want to reward anyone who donates, as well as updating info for the person who wants to fund the entire Documentary portion.

I’ll (eventually) be staging a special screening of the flick 2 weeks before its release, which will be included in its entirety on a Special Features disc. The presentation will be followed by a Q&A with myself and as many stars and crew who want to participate (and are available) and are still speaking to me after it’s all over.

I’m making the movie regardless of the success of the funding, but how educational & boob-filled it can all be is up to you!

AND: There’s gonna be tons of boobs in this movie. Not like, NC-17 boobage, but still, a bunch. Like 47 or something. Yeah, 47 boobs.

I also thought of some other reasons you might want to help fund this project:

  • You’re awesome
  • You found an extra $20 in the wash
  • You want to donate $500+, so you can be credited in the movie by any name you want, even Sgt. TittyBear McNipple-Fist, The Boner Cop.
  • You Like Helping Make Somebody’s Dream Come True
  • That Hobo Didn’t Need Your $20 Bucks Anyway
  • To Make the World a Better Place, Man
  • You’re Kevin Smith & Want Me to be a part of Smodcast Pictures.

Updates, Rewards & a Way to Donate Coming Soon…

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